Yesterday I didn’t mention that I have been struggling just a tad on losing a bit of weight. Now 14 pounds may be nothing to many, but for me, it’s been a struggle. At 5’2, I always weighed between 115 and 126. I have never weighed more than 130 pounds with the exception of college when I gained a bit over the typical freshman 15.
Now, with working from home and the injuries, it was inevitable that I gain a bit of weight. Funny thing is, I thought this was all inflammation since I do have intestinal inflammation as shown in the colonoscopy done a little over 2 years ago with no explanation from the doctor on where it was stemming from. Just an “I don’t know” from the doctor and he sent me on my way. I assume it’s from the gastritis or maybe the inflammation is my body’s reaction to all the bullsh*t I’ve gotten from all the doctors over the years.
I didn’t think I had gained that much until I went to a new primary doctor and stepped on the scale in December. My eyes bugged out of my head when I saw I weighed 140. It all made sense now. Although I was feeling pain in my feet and the bigger sized jeans no longer fit, I didn’t see it since I was wearing sweats which have an elastic band that expand with your stomach.
The beginning of this year I was determined to change all of that and while the first few months were a challenge, I am finally on the right track. It’s been almost 3 weeks since I was able to start again and I decided to get on the scale on Tuesday. 135.3! I lost about 4 pounds. I was elated and figured let me see how I look in the buff to see if there is a difference. I was appalled at what I saw. I felt like the Michelin man with all the bumps and rolls in different places. I was feeling gross, deflated and disgusted. I thought, my body has gotten soo weak, flabby bloated and disgusting. I can’t even hoist or carry a bag of groceries for more than a block without pain and I look like sh*t.
Today as I got up in the morning to get on that glider, I started thinking how disappointed I was in my reaction to my own body. What would I tell a friend or family member who was saying disparaging things to themselves about their body?
I know exactly what I’d say and told myself that after looking in the mirror again. No, I am not the same as I once was, but this body is precious. My legs and feet carry me to the supermarket to get groceries. My arms while weak and my hands and fingers while they get more stiff, they are the paint brushes of my body that have created a few scenic paintings on canvas, drawn artwork and cooked delicious meals. And while my eyes may look tired all the time now, they are the eyes with which I see the world and the beauty in it like dogs walking in the street, the changing leaves on the trees in autumn, birds flying into the sunset etc… This positive self talk was a proud moment for me as I have been very critical of myself in the past.
And although I was not able to say anything encouraging or positive about my stomach since my digestive issues have hounded me for years, I promised my belly I’d do better.
Getting healthy and in shape takes time and patience and each day, I am closer to change. Closer to physical strength and health and even if I have a roll here or there, if I can lift a gallon of milk or lift a 10lb kettle bell than I’m most certainly blessed. Until tomorrow!
TODAYS WORKOUTS
10 minutes of stretching exercises
20 Minutes on the glider
20 pullbacks each red and green resistance bands
10 gentle squats
TODAY’S MUSIC PLAYLIST
Britney Spears – Gimme More
Lizot and Boney M – Daddy Cool
CKAY – Love Nwantiti Remix
Snap -Rhythm is a Dancer
Corona -Rhythm of the Night
Fatboy Slim -Rockafeller Skank
Mind Body Synergylia 