With IBS which I’ve had now for 25 years, I had to cut out some foods, but was able to manage and became mega creative when it came to cooking. Then came the gastritis and the foods I could eat became even less. I stopped cooking and baking a lot of what I loved, but was dealing with it and learned to live with that, trying to tap into that inner food MacGyver again to create other dishes as I’ve mentioned before. Recently however, after seeing some improvement in my symptoms after starting the 20mgs of the PPI Voquezna, I was seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I was finally seeing myself someday soon being able to eat what I once did, but these past few weeks I’ve seen a bad change in how my stomach and body are responding to food. This downturn came after my doctor lowered the dosage to 10mgs and having to wait the the month out because insurance wouldn’t cover the change and the pills cost anywhere between $600 to $800 with pharmacy-specific discounts bringing it down significantly but not enough for me to pay for it. What’s made it worse is knowing my insurance will not pay for tests so I can figure out what’s continuing to make me feel this way. I finally found a doctor who is willing to help and they will only pay some of her fees, but any tests or center she uses for procedures, I’m on my own. (I’m still fighting this)
This dip in mood I know started when Valentine’s came around and this year. Seeing all the chocolate everywhere and recipes coming out with only chocolate everywhere, I was triggered. I was fighting myself to ignore the daggers I’d feel in my heart knowing I could not have chocolate anything. Cakes, cookies, hot chocolate, nothing. Then VDay was over and I tried to get back to my life and was okay but then the stress of life had me craving things I used to turn to when I was in the pits. M&Ms, green tea, hot chocolate, coffee and I had nothing to turn to so I did my motivational videos, forced myself to create new dishes and read some books.
These past few days however have been rough. It’s been a struggle I didn’t see coming because I’d been dealing with things pretty well I thought. The constant overall physical pain and the stomach issues have left me feeling lower than I have felt in a long time. I yearn to go back to the restaurant but I know that this is something I will never get back to given my age and health issues. Fine I tell myself, maybe I can write for a magazine, but most jobs I have seen require you to know the latest trends of food which mean you should least be able to try some of these foods and dishes to be to write about them, giving your first-hand experience.
Today I did get outside at least after moping a bit and got the necessary items from the grocery store while spending some quality time with mama, but it was hard to put on a smile. My body and soul felt heavy, deflated and defeated.
When I got home, I did what I thought may help me a little bit. I made a list things I can have and things I cannot have. I made both so I could at least see the stuff I could have to make myself feel better. The list is not complete, but it’s what I could remember at this time. A lot of items I can have are expensive here in the city, but what can you do? Do the best you can with what you are able to have. Does it suck. IT SURE DOES! It hurts, it sucks and I crave these can’t have items BAD. I want chocolate, I yearn to have coffee again, I would love to have a glass of lemonade and eat strawberries in the summer and maybe a glass of wine.
| FOODS /HERBS /SPICE I CANNOT HAVE | FOODS/HERBS/SPICE I AM ABLE TO HAVE |
| Cinnamon | basil |
| Mint herb and extract | parsley |
| Cumin only in small quantities (1tsp) | cilantro |
| onions,scallions,leeks, chives | lettuce |
| Pretty much any kind of tea | Cabbage (in small quantities) |
| Strawberries, blueberries, raspberries,etc | Broccolini |
| Lemons or anything that has lemon in it | carrots |
| Limes | Sweet potato |
| Tomato paste | Pork shoulder |
| Oranges | Oregano |
| Any kind of sausages | Coconut Aminos |
| Chocolate of any kind | Rice Krispies (only cereal I tolerate) |
| Onion powder | eggs |
| Fresh Garlic, garlic powder | Almond milk |
| Any products w/Citric Acid | Rice milk |
| Black Pepper | Apple juice (in small quantities) |
| Wheat thins | Nuts of all kinds in moderation |
| Most cereals | bananas |
| Oatmeal | plantains |
| Tilapia Fish | Puff pastry |
| Anything spicy | pears |
| Flour tortillas | apples |
| cauliflower | Gluten free low sodium soy sauce |
| Most candy/cakes/cookies since they have citric acid | Gluten Free Tamari |
| Soda | Corn tortillas |
| Sour Cream | Coconut pie (Entemann’s) |
| Processed sandwich bread | Fresh bread |
| Vinegar | Pizza ( once in a while) |
| Pineapple | Fresh tomatoes (very rare) |
| Papaya | Ketchup (sparingly) |
| Protein bars | Dijon mustard |
| Whey protein | Mustard powder |
| Coffee | mushrooms |
| Canned beans | chicken |
| Pasta water | beef |
| sardines | Salmon |
| Culantro ( herb I tried and messed up my stomach | shrimp |
| Popcorn (from movies or trader joes only) | |
| Pasta | |
| avocado | |
| Collard Greens | |
| zucchini | |
| dried beans | |
| Spinach | |
| watermelon | |
| Canned and fresh corn | |
| potatoes | |
| Alcohol only in cooking or baking | |
| Water | |
| grapes | |
| butter | |
| Olive Oil I cooked a LOT with this but this is rare now for me but I do use it occasionally |
For today, I will sit with this and try my best to move past this again, continue to do my mile walks, take my probiotics, eat my yogurt and a few other things in my routine to see if all this can help me heal at least a little bit. Until next time my Phoenixes. Time can be tough, but remember so are you!
Mind Body Synergylia 