Fitness Check In Day 89: Hurricanes of Life

In my last post, I mentioned how the things were going and in the weeks that followed I did have some good things happen but I also had a lot to weigh me down. Soo much soo that I thought about quitting the blog, shutting down the website and just disappearing from social media completely. I mean would it matter if I did? Would anyone care? I do have some followers and to them I say, bless you, I see you and I thank you for reading. I will say that a wave of gloomy thoughts entered my mind with each pain I felt in my body.

I had been doing well and making it a point to walk a mile a few times a week, but then I noticed pain in my feet. Specifically the plantar fascia on the left foot. The pain was enough that I skipped my mile walk on Thursday two weeks ago and figured I’d just wait until the weekend. However, I woke up that Saturday with my throat on fire, my sinuses were ugh and my body ached like crazy so any workouts I was thinking of were out the window. I was sneezing and super congested through Wednesday of this week and by Thursday all that was left was a slight cough, a raspy voice and some exhaustion. Being home since last Saturday and not exercising for 6 days really put my mood in the garbage. Not only that, but the mouth pain has gotten worse. I had burning mouth again for a few days which happens when there is too much acid in your body and it comes up your esophagus. I was also feeling burning in my throat after eating simple eggs which has never happened before. Now this could be the effects of the sinus cold that I had so I will have to give it more time, but this just made me lose a bit of hope. Hope that I will be able to eat and drink healthy stuff I once did like tomatoes (which have lycopene), cinnamon (good for inflammation, heart health, lowers blood sugar), lemons (aids in iron absorption, prevents kidney stones, vitamin C, helps immune system), green tea or any other tea for that matter (lowered risks of heart disease, stroke, and diabetes) and that’s just a small amount of items, the list is a lot longer. Now my hope is dwindling because I thought I’d be a little bit better by now especially since it’s been over a month since I stopped the PPI.

I have no way of knowing how the Barrett’s Esophagus is until I do another endoscopy and right now I have some other things to deal with before we can even go there. I do know that if my throat gets worse and I have trouble swallowing again I will have to go back on PPIs only it won’t be Voquezna since I’m not allowed to take those until October. I would have to go on Omeprazole which caused depression for me. Imagine taking something that gives you a sore throat and causes depression. How will I get through that?

What makes all of this harder is I no longer enjoy eating. I eat now because my body needs fuel. Nothing more. I don’t even want to cook. Me, the foodie, the former pastry cook, the aspiring chef no longer cares to eat, and cooks because it’s necessary. This has hit me hard because that was my passion, my dream and it’s all but vanished in the years since I got gastritis, esophagitis and now Barrett’s.

And even with all of this, I figured okay if I can just hit the mat, work out a little more every day safely so I can get out of deconditioning and build muscle again, I can feel stronger, and finally begin to teach classes, help others and even that’s hit a dead end. I did hit the mat today because my body was screaming it needed some yoga. However, my left arm now is stiff and I can no longer bend it behind me or get that full range of motion I always had. I am just starting to get mobility in my right arm which had the bicep tear, bicep tendonitis, bursitis, shoulder impingement, muscle atrophy, and now I have to deal with the left arm. I also cannot bend my left wrist to hold myself in down dog. The pain was too much so I used my fists to hold myself up for a few breaths to help stretch the calves and in turn relieve the plantar fascia pain.

After I was done I did do 30 pullbacks with the yellow resistance band to see if I was able to do those at least without pain and I was able to do so but couldn’t go as far back as before. Given that my left eyelid has been bothering me a little because of the chalazion, my mood dipped even more I gave in and slept for a few hours so as not to deal with the day. I did get back up at 3pm and took a shower and got dressed, which when you’re dealing with dark thoughts or moods is a win for the day.

Now I’m here, trying to think of how to spin this. How to flip the switch to the positive. I still have soo much going on. I have the CT Scan of my facial bones in two weeks that I had to reschedule because I got a letter in the mail from the insurance company saying they wouldn’t pay for it after all because they didn’t deem it medically necessary, then had my doctor send them a letter telling them the reasons it was necessary and now I got the letter confirming they will pay so we will see what the results are from that. I also have an appointment next week with a different colorectal surgeon to see whether or no I have to remove that hyperplastic glandular mucosa from my colon or if will go away as the nurse practitioner stated in the other doctor’s office. I also have a little bit of pain in my left eyelid from that chalazion and when I’m tired the lid lowers even more than usual and I have to wait until July to see my usual opthamologist because I am not going back to the one I went to before. He was nice, but something in my gut just says no because he never bothered touching my eye or even looking at it with the flashlights they usually use. Some days I have a burning mouth, some days I lose my voice, other days I’m okay and on others I am back to pureeing my food.

What’s the positive here? What can I say to turn the tables on this negativity? Well, here it goes. Looking back, I WAS able to celebrate Mother’s Day with my mom by going outside with her and my brother. In the past few years while I have celebrated her day, my brother has been the one to take her out while I stayed home due to stomach issues and would cook and bake. This time, I was able to go out with her and my brother and enjoy while her eyes glowed from excitement when we took her to The Friend’s Experience that’s downtown on 23rd street. Mama herself isn’t able to walk as much without pain due to bad arthritis in her knee and her own foot issues, but both Mama and I were able to last the time we were there, mesmerized by all the props, sets and interactive stuff they had here which is soo worth it for any FRIENDS fan.