Fitness Check In Day 98: Test Results and More Uncertainty

It looks like I have all my test results from the bloodwork and stool tests and all are negative for infections/parasite and normal. I mean that’s amazing right? But this leaves me hanging. Leaves me with uncertainty and that is as Sheldon Cooper would say MALARKEY! What’s funny is I got a notice from WordPress of my post from a year ago today where I was using a walker because my legs felt like jello, I’d get winded quickly and the vertigo was off the charts. This year as I’ve mentioned I still have the vertigo but am able to walk without a walker. So what now? Now I wait for the insurance to approve the CT Scan to see what’s going on with those intestines. I’m not looking forward to this as I was told that the oral contrast I have to drink is irritating on the stomach and will cause diarrhea. Like I really need that right now.

But alas, I will worry about later. Right now I am focused on DDPYoga’s Beast Mode program where today is day 21 out of 90 and it’s been 6 days in a row that I have done either Stand Strong I or Stand Strong II. Initially in today’s check in with the group I was hearing the story of others and I felt like a failure with all the milestones being hit comparing my beflex initially and now Stand Strong, to the exercises they were all doing. You know what they say, ‘Comparison is the thief of joy’ and how true that is. I know that if was someone else who was in my shoes, I’d be cheering them on and showering them with praise for hanging in there. But in this check in I felt anything but proud, I felt deflated. However, that’s not how the group operates. The coaches and those participating in this program was encouraging and supportive and today that is what I needed. It’s been a hell of a month and a half with whatever it is now I have, but doing this program has given me something to look forward to. It’s given me structure amidst the uncertainty in my life right now. Even when I wake up feeling like a poop noodle, I am now getting up and starting to crave DDPYoga like I used to.

I hope to get answers soon so that I can get back to eating a little bit more and getting the energy to add more workouts or move up to getting on that mat, but whatever happens, I know that I will be stronger at the end of this 90’s than when I started it. I just have to keep going, keep striving and keep pushing to get there. Can’t wait to see how long I can hold some of the poses tomorrow and the days ahead!

Until next time my Phoenixes, try not to compare yourself to others, it really does bring you down and you are worth a lot!!! Keep going and never give up!