Unfortunately lately it seems my blog posts are at least two weeks or more apart instead of the daily or weekly posts I was shooting for. I have had soo many ups and downs, at one point I was becoming more unsure if I was going to keep this blog going or disappear completely online as I mentioned in my last post. A part of it was the physical pain everywhere, plus the pain and issues resulting from Barrett’s Esophagus which made it hard to swallow, talk and eat. One factor I did not count on however, are the hormone fluctuations due to perimenopause that are really messing with me…especially when I have my period which I don’t get as often, but when I do…WOAH NELLY! The inability to exercise due to the pain and hypertonic pelvic floor issue was also a big factor in dip in my mood as exercising early in the morning before breakfast and work give me the happy high I need to get through the day.
Another reason for that dip in mood I realized is that June and the first week of July, I was reliving my papa’s last days before he passed away July 4th. I know it’s been four years now, but it still hurts. Last week however, was a breakthrough because I was finally able to go outside during my lunch hour and walk a bit over 1 mile. The week prior, my podiatrist gave me tips and stretches to lengthen my plantar fascia without having to do yoga which is the one thing that was helping me in that area. These tips gave me the confidence to venture out because now I have the tools to make sure that plantar fascia won’t pop and sideline me again.
This week, I am trying to keep focused on the fact that Saturday is my birthday and I want to have as much energy as possible to actually go out and celebrate another year around the sun. So today, I did 120 sit-to-stand exercises split into 4 sets throughout the day. I haven’t been strict or consistent with this so I am determined to change that by doing them a few times a day to build those glute muscles again. I also did 40 pullbacks with the yellow resistance band, some physical therapy stretches for my arms/shoulder as well as the stretches my podiatrist told me to stretch the calf and plantar fascia.
At least this week the temperatures won’t be as high as 104 as it was when I visited my dad in the cemetery on July 4th. The heat exhaustion came quick and was brutal. Although I was unable to go outside today, I did a few simple exercises, I finally got back to the blog and I plan on going out for a walk at the very least for 1/2 a mile to 1 mile a few times before Saturday. If my body permits it, I would also like to get back to the mat to do a little DDP, if not, then I will do chair force or chair to standing at least 1 or 2 times this week since my body is craving some type of DDP workout. I tell you, whenever I do DDPYoga, it’s like shaking the cobwebs from my muscles and joints!!!
With all the storms that keep coming lately, there is a rainbow at the end of these storms. A rainbow universally means hope and brighter times ahead. But what happens when that rainbow disappears and the storms come back? People say life is not always sunshine and rainbows and that is true. It’s just the cycle of life I am starting to accept. You go through good time and bad times. It’s just the way you handle the bad times that show your character, what you are a truly made of. It’s okay to have weak moments. It’s okay to break sometimes and wallow a bit. The point is not to stay in that dark place, to pick up the pieces and keep going. To find your strength and push forward. It’s hard as hell to do this and there are days where you question life. What’s the point? Why keep going? The answer to that is simple. You are important. YOU MATTER. You owe it to yourself to take care of yourself as best you can, pamper yourself when you can and live your best life. I owe it to myself to do all of these things as well and even when I falter, I am still better now than I was a year ago thanks to keeping up the self care, applying the tools I have learned thus far.
Until next time my Phoenixes, remember YOU MATTER!!!!
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thank you!
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